Deployment "Habits"

I'm not sure if habits is the correct term but I couldn't really come up with anything else that fit! I've talked to many wives who always do certain things before, during and after their husband's deployments. It's almost like superstitious type things that you believe give you luck. But some are just so it feels like your husband is still around and living at home even when he isn't.

I'll start....

1. Wherever my husband leaves something when he leaves for deployment is where it stays until he comes home. I've had shoes in the middle of the living room floor and a shirt hanging on the bedpost for months during his deployments.

2. We never say "goodbye" when he leaves or when we talk on the phone. It's always "good night" even if its 10 am. Goodbye seems so final to me. We started this on his first deployment and it just stuck.

3. Sometimes, I'll shut the door to the bathroom and spray his cologne. Then just stand there and close my eyes. For just that moment, it makes it seem like he's standing in the room.

4. We always write letters to each other before he leaves. I'm not allowed to open mine until I get home from dropping him off and he's not allowed to open mine until he gets on the airplane.

5. I always read a letter or something he wrote for me before I go to bed hoping it will have him in my thoughts enough that I'll have sweet dreams of him. Most of the time, it works!

6. My aunt gave me a blarney stone when he left for basic training. I've carried it with me since then. I've been known to turn around and go back to get it if I forget it when I'm going out of town!

So there's just a few of mine. I'm curious what types of things others do when their soldier is deployed. Or perhaps I'm the only weird one who does these things?! Please tell me I'm not....lol

Comments

[Vicki]

Oh sweeet Stacey...those sound like neat habits. Though...why the bathroom? lol I would think the bedroom.
I am sure there are others with rituals. But you are still crazy! We Wuv you though. vimi

[Heather Shafer]

Hello:)
I'm sorry to drop in on your blog, but for some reason my pc won't send out e-mails today (sigh)
Anywho, I just wanted to say THANK YOU for your site, I came across it today, and I love it, it's been a big help to me. I'm a very new army wife, with four lil ones. We are stationed in Tx right now, and it looks as if hubby will be deployed in Oct. Maybe May, but it's still in the air.. Well, just wanted to say thank you.. Your support is wonderful!! Heather:)

[Hannah]

Yep I do the cologne but it's on me or the bed. I lay out a shirt or a jacket right were he would sleep on the bed. And this isn't really a deployment thing but we kiss three times everytime we kiss. Once for morning, noon, and night. Just in case something happens and we can't get a kiss the rest of the day.

You're still weird, but not because of your rituals. lol

[Rebecca]

I wrote letters to him every night just to let him know that was going on back at home. Even if my day was boring, I'd write something. I would wear his t-shits to sleep. I also saved his sweet text messages so that I could read them while he was gone.

[julie anna]

I like your blog/website! I leave everything of my husbands just as they are when he goes away too. It's just to painful for me to put his things away. I leave them as-is as a reminder that he still lives here and will be back!

[Felicia]

I have really enjoyed reading your website. Thanks for all the useful inforamtion. I have a few retuals myself. For the most part I have no problem putting his stuff away and since he is on a 15 month tour I have even snuck some of my stuff on his side of the closet. But, one thing that I have not had the heart to put away is the pair of his boots sitting at the end of our dresser. It makes me feel like he is home. Even though they are in the way they will stay there for another year. I also find myself talking to his pictures or telling him that I miss him out loud when I am thinking about him. The other thing I do is wear his sweats around the house, and I sometimes sleep in his t-shirts and boxer shorts. It makes me feel closer to him while I am wearing them and it also makes it feel like he is home when I am doing the laundry. I actually miss doing his laundry. Thanks for all of the hard work you have put into your site. It really helps.

[KimB]

I enjoy reading your website! It has always helped me, since the begining when my husband began Basic and now during his deployment. Some rituals that I have are:
I dont box up any of his clothes, I leave everything "as it was." I also write in a journal every single night. I include things that maybe i forgot to tell him while i was on the phone with him, or i write him some poems, recall a fav. memory or paste a fav pic. Then after 6 months I send it to him. He fills up the next 6months and sends that back to me... Its a wonderful welcome home present for both of us. I also, leave his hygeine stuff out...such as his toothbrush,cologne...etc...It makes things feel "normal" for me so to speak. I also will wear his cloths to bed, or around the house on the days that I don't feel like leaving it! Thanks for all the hard work you have put into your website to help out others!

[Carly]

I sleep with one of my boyfriend's sweatshirts whenever he's gone. I kiss it, and tell it, "Goodnight Jaybird (my nickname for him). I love you." It helps me forget that he's gone, even if its just for a little bit.
We also do the same thing you do, with the letters before we separate. He read his on the greyhound to his duty station. I told him about the sweatshirt thing in it, and he does it too know, but instead on one of my sweatshirts, its the dogtags I gave to him for his birthday before he even enlisted.