Message Boards - Part Three

Well this post is a little ironic in its timing. I was planning to talk about how its easy to get stuck in the virtual world and ignore the real world. And I probably still will - just not in quite the same way.

See, today some things happened on my message board that have caused me to believe that I need a break. A nice, long break. I'd say probably 95% of the members on the message board have never caused the first inkling of a problem or issue of any kind. But then there's the other 5% that just keeps you on your toes.

Lots of people tell me just to get over it and not let it get to me. It's just a message board, after all. And they're right, it is. And I should. But I can't.

When I started the website, and later the message board, I had the grand idea of being able to help people avoid what I had to endure...knowing absolutely nothing when my husband joined the Army and feeling alone and in the dark. I just wanted to provide what little information and limited experience that I could to hopefully make that transition a little easier for someone else. To let that new wife who's husband just left for basic training know that she's not alone.

The majority of my experience with the website and message board have been positive. As I said I've met a lot of great people. And a few that I consider to be very good personal friends. I have invested a lot of myself into the website and spent an enormous amount of time trying to build it. And because there's so much of myself in it, it's hard not to take criticism personally. It's very difficult for me to separate myself from the "business" because I am the business. So when critical comments come my way, I can't just hit delete. I internalize. I know, I know...that's MY problem.

Back to the point. When you're surrounded by so many who are going through the same things that you are on the message board, its very easy to set that up as your main support system. In some cases, it truly is your only choice. But in many others, it is and should be secondary to those Army wives and friends who you are (or could be) around each day. You know - the ones you get to see in the flesh.

I think I need to get back to a few of those myself. I can sometimes feel so connected to others by sharing experiences online that I feel like I don't need the interaction in the real world. But I do. And I miss not having time for as much of it as I would like.

I know it seems like I talk about personal things on here a lot but to me, this one is really personal. And I'm really sensitive at the moment due to today's events to any more criticism or harsh comments. So if you'd really like to leave some for me, well I'd just like to ask you to politely leave.

Thanks for listening. 

Comments

[Lis]

<333

[Kasey]

I know what you mean about being so connected to the online world... I still am not fully immersed in the 'real' army wife world and I know I need to be, that it might be better for me.
I am offering you big HUGS and I hope things get better soon. You will be missed on the board!

[Molly]

I'm with Kasey...I'll miss you on the board! I always look forward to reading your comments and getting your advice. Come back soon!

[Julia]

If I were in your shoes I also would probably take things personally, so I know it's not easy, but do know that you are appreciated and loved.

[been there done that]

Oh I am SOOOO there with you. I've found myself in that spot before as you well know. And I too had to step back and take a hold of the "real world" life. Now, trying to keep a happy medium between both and sometimes it is difficult.

As for taking things personally, well I do that TOO OFTEN myself. So, there's no knockin' ya from this part of the world there. We'll just have to make a pact to help each other stay in check when we start taking things personally... I know how to find you when I'm needing a nudge away from taking things personally and you know how to find me too.

[morganL]

I think I may be an exception to what you are saying because the nearest post is over 2 hours away from where I live. Our FRG is scattered across the fruited plain and even though I am highly involved with them, its not like I have a place to talk to them everyday.

I have really enjoyed being able to connect with other Army/military wives/SOs. I wish I did have some of those supportive people around me in the flesh - but its just not the case. Sure, I have friends around me, but they are not military and there are things that they don't/won't understand.

What I'm getting at, I really am greatful for your site and for all the work that you do. I also understand that you are human and that you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. So whatever your decision/s may be - I'm behind you. :o)