Military ID Cards
I'm sure I'm not the only one who absolutely loathes the picture on my military ID card. I think they purposely have that little camera set up to take the least flattering picture possible. Maybe so the guards will still recognize us when we go through the gate puffy eyed and upset because we're about to drop off our soldier? Or so they'll still see a resemblance as we drag ourselves to the clinic when we were really too sick to roll out of bed?
I keep my military ID strategically placed behind my driver's license in my wallet. Not that my driver's license picture is fit to be on display either but just about anything beats my military ID! But I did find myself oddly comforted by my military ID a few days ago.
I went to the doctor and much to my dismay found out that I have another kidney stone (but that's a story for another post!). As I was sitting in the waiting room, the receptionist called to another patient and asked for her insurance card. I just happened to glance up as she was passing it over the counter and what did I see? A military ID card! Just a few minutes later, a man in his 40s walked in and asked if the office accepted Tricare Prime. Another soldier or family member? Wow! (I'm easily amused - can you tell?)
Since we moved to this area, far removed from the active duty lifestyle, I have felt very isolated. With Rob being in the Army for the past four years (he was medically retired) and with a main part of my business revolving around Army families, its been hard to just adjust back to the civilian lifestyle. I've found it hard to relate to people about things around here because for the past four years, almost everything in our lives has centered around the Army. There are very few people here, at least who we've run into, who even know people who have served much less who understand anything about it.
I find myself getting the blank stares from people when they ask where we moved from and I explain the story. Then I realize I may as well be speaking a foreign language since I was using acronyms and other terms easily recognizable by another Army wife but not so much by the neighbor. I've had to retrain myself in the terms that I use. Remind myself that the Army is not near as interesting to people who haven't ever been around it. And start watching the very thing that I avoided for the past four years - the news.
As I sat in the waiting room, I debated about approaching the other two people with military ID cards to find out their stories. Did he serve? Does he have a family member serving now? What brought her to this area? Did she move home when he deployed? But I didn't. I just sat there and waited for my name to be called.
And I realized that maybe the reason my driver's license was on top in my wallet was not to hide the hideous picture but to represent the fact that our military lifestyle is now in the past. My civilian ID takes precendence now and I actually have my own social security number back again instead of being filed under my husband's number. It's sad to me to realize that his time in the military and my time as a military spouse is behind us.
Of course, with that, it also means that deployments are behind us. Sending my husband off to a foreign land not knowing whether he'll return the same is behind us. Having no control over anything in our lives is behind us. But there are also great friendships that were made that are in some sense now behind us. Wonderful memories of homecomings, unit balls and hanging out with the guys are also behind us. Moving on to the civilian life meant leaving behind the good, the not so great and the things that proved to both us that we were stronger than we ever realized.
As I met with the doctor, he asked me if my husband currently served. I replied no, that he was recently medically retired with a little bit of a sigh. Well, he said, I guess since he's retired, the military will always be a part of both of you. And a little smile crept up on my face.
Maybe so.
