I was trying to think about the 1st time that I spent the holidays away from my parent's home and I guess it was when my husband was in the military. Actually, I think the first time I spent Christmas away from home was the 1st Christmas that my husband was deployed. We pretty much moved Christmas that year and I didn't do anything on the day of that I would normally do. I had put up a Christmas tree but I spent the day on my own.
Everyone told me to just go home for Christmas and celebrate the same as I normall would regardless of the fact that my husband was deployed. But I just couldn't fathom doing that. And I guess the fact that we didn't have kids gave me the option to "celebrate" however I chose. It just didn't seem right to me to celebrate the day when I knew that he couldn't. And I felt like it would be that much more obvious if I went home. There would be an empty chair where he was suppose to be sitting and everyone else would have their own family unit in tact while I was the only there who was on my own, so to speak.
That year, I left the Christmas tree and all of the other decorations up well into January. We celebrated Christmas after he returned home from overseas. It wasn't quite the same but it was still much better, in my opinion, than celebrating it without him.
How did you deal with your first Christmas away from home or the 1st Christmas when your soldier was deployed?
My husband and I have been married for 5 months and hes already leaving me for a year. Its going to be our first year of marriage and he won't be here for that either. My first thanksgiving, christmas, birthday without him and its going to stick... but im like you.. i wouldn't feel right celebrating anything without him. We have the same birthday so it will make it even worse.
well ... in my opinion as well i think i would be doing the same that you did... not feeling right celebrating anything without him.
Posted by: Terri | January 04, 2009 at 10:46 AM
failing to mention its the first deployment as well
Posted by: Terri | January 04, 2009 at 10:47 AM
I was like you my husband deployed 6 months after we were married. It did stink for sure. But he made it home on R/R for our 1st anniversary...which was awesome. He was gone for my 21st birthday, and all the other holidays...but you somehow get through it. The way I handled it was to pour all of my energy into making those holidays as good for my soldier as possible. Meaning, I made him the most awesome care packages that I could! I made sure that he never went a week without one. My advice is to send stuff he can semi-decorate with, stuff he likes to eat and read. When sending goodies--send enough so that he can share with his friends! That was always a real hit for my husband because everyone got to enjoy his package. It is kind of sad, but there are a lot of soldiers that don't get any packages from home. If you hear of one send him/her a cool package. Making other people happy will have a positive effect on you and make the separation alot more tollerable. The way I looked at it...I was happy when that particular holiday was over because it meant that we were that much closer to the finish line and I could start looking forward to the next year when he would be with me. In a deployment you just have to take it one day at a time. At the end of the day just remember to smile because you are one day closer to him. Now here I am 4 years later and I am a better person and our marriage is so strong because we know time is precious and we treasure it!!It took me a long time to realize this but even in the deployments you can find possitivity!
Posted by: Amber Waltz | February 12, 2009 at 11:17 AM