Married to the Army

I am thankful for...

I will keep this post Army related but I wanted to post about the things that I am most thankful for that the Army in one way or another helped to provide...

• My husband returned home safely from four deployments
• We have made lifelong friends in the military, two of which are here spending Thanksgiving with us and two others who are coming for Christmas
• We appreciate the little things in life
• We don't take the time we have together for granted any more
• We greatly improved our verbal communication skills during deployments
• We know that it isn't about celebrating the holiday on the actual holiday. The celebration is when we can share it together...even if that means Christmas in June. 
• We have a greater appreciation for our country and the freedoms it provides. We respect our flag and those who defend it.

How about you? Has the Army provided a new perspective that you are thankful for as well?

Christmas Mailing Dates

It is time to get a move on with those Christmas packages. In order for them to arrive on time in Iraq and Afghanistan, they need to be shipped no later than December 4th. Packages going to other military bases overseas can be sent as late as December 11th. Remember that you can use the largest flat rate box for $2 less than the stated rate if it is going to an APO address.

When my husband was deployed at Christmas, I sent tons of inexpensive Christmas decorations. I say inexpensive because I knew after the holiday was over, he wouldn't have a place to store them so he was able to just throw them away. I also sent Christmas stockings for him and his roommates as well as extra gifts (nothing expensive) for the single guys that were with him.

It made me happy to know that he and the guys with him would have something to open on Christmas and it kept me a little more occupied as I was shopping for the Christmas gifts. If you can, consider adopting a single guy or two in your husband's unit who otherwise may not receive anything this year. Your husband should be able to tell you who that may be.

Now, get shopping! :) Black Friday will be a great day to get some deals!

Involve Your Deployed Soldier in Christmas

I just saw this advertised in a parenting magazine and had to share. Hallmark has introduced a recordable storybook for "The Night Before Christmas". How neat would it be to send this to your deployed spouse, have him record the story and then send it back to your child. They could hear the story of the night before Christmas straight from Mom or Dad.

The books are available at Hallmark stores and you can see more about it here:

Hallmark Book

By the way, this is not a paid advertisement or affiliate link of any type. I just think it is a really neat idea and wish they would come out with an entire series with our military members in mind!

USMC Licensing

Or am I even allowed to still refer to the USMC? Shopkeepers on Cafepress and Zazzle, many of whom are veterans and military family members, were dealt quite a blow yesterday. The Marine Corps has now trademarked many of their symbols and the actual words Marines, U.S. Marine Corps, USMC and a few others. Basically good luck on making any sort of design where it can be worded in a way that it actually identifies the owner as a supporter of the Marines.

To be a licensee, there is a long list of requirements that must be met and even then, there is no guarantee that you will be approved. Among the most significant is the $1,000 licensing fee as well as a minimum of $5,000 in royalties every year. Since when did the Marine Corps become a business entity making a profit?

Why take away the ability for many military family members and Veterans to support themselves financially while showing support for those who are serving? Was the free advertising identifying proud family members not enough for the Marine Corps? Apparently not.

I predict you can kiss good-bye any creativity in designs in the future as well as the possibility to customize an item with your Marine's name and rank.

If the Army follows suit, a portion of my business will disappear overnight. I feel very badly for those who were making these designs who were dependent on the income. Nice job, Marine Corps. Not only do you strip their income away from them with no prior notice, you do it right at the beginning of the holiday season when most families need extra money the most.

I can only pray the Army has more sense.

More Military Discounts

Enjoy these additional discounts:

• Outback Steakhouse - free bloomin' onion and beverage of choice for Veterans on November 11th
• Krispy Kreme - free doughnut for Veterans on November 11th
• World of Coca-Cola (Atlanta) - free admission November 7-14 and 50% off for four guests
• Imagine It! (Atlanta) - free admission November 7 - 15
• CNN Studio Tour (Atlanta) - free November 7 - 15
• Chima (Philadelphia) - free dinner for Veterans on November 11th

Be sure to let these businesses know you appreciate what they are doing so they will continue to do it in the years to come.

Free Books for Military Families

Military One Source has free books available for military families. Each military family is entitled to up to 10 books each year. The books are completely free (including shipping). Titles include fiction and non-fiction in paperback and audio versions. The site states that the books will be shipped within 10-14 days from the time the order is placed but several indicated they received them much earlier.

Visit Military One Source and click on Tools, then Library Books.

Discounts in Honor of Veteran's Day

1. Knott's Berry Farm:

Free admission for military member (past or present) and guest. Military member must present proof of service. Offer good November 1st - Thanksgiving.

2. Applebee's

Veterans and military members eat free on November 11th

3. Golden Corral

Free dinner for military member (past and present) on November 16th from 5pm - 9pm.

4. Build-A-Bear

20% discount on one transaction on Veteran's Day with the presentation of a military ID.

Do you know of other discounts? Let everyone know by posting a comment!

Military Spouse Residency Relief Passes House

^{(WASHINGTON, DC) – The U.S. House of Representatives today approved the Military Spouse Residency Relief Act as part of the House Suspension Calendar by a unanimous voice vote. President Barack Obama is expected to sign the legislation into law within the next few days.}

^{The House action today brings to a legislative conclusion a three-year quest by U.S. Rep. John Carter (R-TX) to improve the legal residency status of military spouses that began in 2007. Carter originally introduced the bill in the 110th Congress in May 2008, then again in the 111th Congress this February as HR 1182 in the House, and by Senators Richard Burr (R-NC) and Diane Feinstein (D-CA) as S. 475 in the Senate.}

^{"This is fantastic news for our service families worldwide," says Carter. "We should have done this long ago, but at least we are now on track to have a new law in 2009." Watch Carter's remarks on the House Floor here.}

^{The bill allows a military spouse who moves out of a state with their service member under military orders to have the option to claim the same state of domicile as their active duty spouse, regardless of where they are stationed. Service members themselves have had that option for decades, while spouse did not, leaving many families with split residencies.}

Vets Prevail

I was honored to be contacted to be included in getting the word out about the Vets Prevail program. This is a six-week program that is delivered online through interactive video and instant message chats with licensed individuals to help veterans readjust to life after deployment.

I have reviewed several modules of the training and it is very professional and easy to use. Most of all, it seems it will be very beneficial to our loved ones after serving overseas. Because it is developed by veterans, there's no gap in understanding between the civilian and military world that typically accompanies these programs.

Watch the video below. If you or a loved one are in need of this confidential training, please send me an email. MTTA visitors have 15 slots reserved for the Veteran's Day launch of the program. Rest assured your information is confidential and as soon as I deliver the log-in codes to you, I'm no longer privy to any information.

You can also check out the press release or visit the Vets Prevail website.

Homecomings: Part Two

I have received hundreds of emails about my opinion on who should attend homecoming ceremonies. In addition, it is by far the most popular post on my blog and has drawn a wide variety of comments. I have received praise and disgust from spouses and parents of soldiers for my opinion on the issue. And that is okay. I fully expected there would be some who wouldn’t agree with my opinion.

There is one part at the end of the article that I think gets overlooked many times. Or perhaps those who are angry over my opinion can no longer see straight by the time they get to the end of the article. This is the part that I want to further expand on and be sure that it is addressed because in my opinion, it is the most important part of my opinion. I believe it is something that ALL parents and spouses can agree on as well.

If all else fails, then follow the wishes of the soldier.

As I stated before, with my husband’s unit, we were rarely given enough notice for anyone to come to welcome him home. On more than one occasion, I got a phone call from him saying “I’m home, come pick me up.” I had a general idea (think two week window) of when he was coming home but we typically weren’t given an exact date or time until the last possible minute, if at all. So this was really never an issue for us unless someone wanted to just come and camp out at our house for a bit in hopes they would be there when I received the phone call.

But I realize that most units do not operate like this and even though dates and times may change ten times, the family is given notice of when their soldier will arrive. I stand by my opinion that if he is married, the wife and children should be there to greet him and if he is single, the parents, significant other and friends should be there. What absolutely should NOT happen is for the soldier to come home and have no one there to greet him. I have never felt so sorry for soldiers in my life as to witness a homecoming ceremony where no one was there to greet them.

I know some parents and spouses alike take issue with my opinion on who should be there. That is why I said and will say once again, if all else fails, then follow the wishes of the soldier. If your soldier says he wants his English teacher from 10^th grade to be at his homecoming ceremony, then do everything in your power to make sure that happens. After all, it is HIS homecoming ceremony and whoever he wants to be present, should be there to greet him when he returns. However, at the same time, if he says he only wants certain people to be there, then follow those wishes as well. The homecoming ceremony is really not about you as the family member, it is about him and his return back to the states.

Each soldier deals with his return differently. While some are thrilled to be surrounded by lots of immediate and extended family members when they return, for others, this is too overwhelming and he would prefer a smaller gathering. This was my husband’s case. If we had been able to have time to arrange it, he would still have preferred that I was the only one there. He felt like he needed time to decompress before being surrounded by a lot of people again. Had he said that he wanted everyone there (and we were given enough notice to arrange it), I certainly would have done my best to make sure everyone was there.

Let me also say something else. I have received emails from soldiers who have had my original article forwarded to them by a family member. Quite a few were asking for advice of how to play referee between their wives and their parents. In these cases, the soldiers only wanted their wives (and kids in some cases) present. They told everyone about their preference, only to later find out that their wives were being blamed (sometimes relentlessly) by his parents for HIS decision. This was causing considerable strain, not only in their marriage, but also in their relationship with their parents, for the soldier. The last thing any of us wants is for the soldier’s mind to be somewhere else when he is overseas. If he indicates who he wants to be there, then please do not start placing blame on other parties or berate him for his decision. It can be discussed when he’s safely back home again.

One final point and then I will put the issue to rest. Some soldiers who wish to have a smaller reception of people at the homecoming ceremony only need 24-48 hours until they are ready to see everyone else. Some may need weeks. By stating my opinion about who should be at the actual ceremony, I am by no means saying that you shouldn’t see your soldier at all when he returns. All I am saying is to give him the space that he would like – whether that’s no time, 30 minutes, a few days or a few weeks.  

To conclude, let me say once again, if all else fails, follow the wishes of your soldier!